First of all, I’m sorry for stealing this graph from whoever originally created it. Original creator, you are a genius. Contact me and I’ll send you a link. (Thanks to Kimberly Loc for showing this to me.)

I simply couldn’t resist, Meat Loaf being one of my faves. By the way, if you want to see a long and completely nonsensical Meat Loaf music video that totally rips off Indiana Jones and involves more explosions than a Michael Bay movie, watch this:

Incidentally, the video for I’d Do Anything for Love was actually directed by Michael Bay, though it featured a noticeable lack of his signature technique (blowing stuff up). Here’s a funny commercial that Michael Bay did poking fun at himself:

Awesome. While I’m posting awesome things and pie charts, here a couple more awesome charts that I’ve found online and think are awesome:

And here is an awesome dialogue between a graphic designer and someone trying to take advantage of him (pie charts are involved!).

The creepiest part is when he says, “You don’t want to do that. You don’t even want to say that.” Man, if I were that prisoner, I’d listen to Ben before something bad happened.

Written by Bob Geldolf, who would go on to organize the charity concerts Live Aid and Live 8, The Boomtown Rats’s “I Don’t Like Mondays”was about a 16-year-old who opened fire at a group of elementary school children on their school playground. She killed two adults and injured eight children and one police officer. When the journalist asked her why she did it, she said, “I don’t like Mondays; this livens up the day.”

And, of course, Monday Monday. This song, written by John Phillips and originally recorded by The Mamas & the Papas, was the number one song ever by a band that had both men and women in it. The 60s were a crazy time.

Of course, I love anything with Mama Cass in it, if for no other reason than her absolutely awesome Scooby-Doo Movies episode where she owned the haunted candy factory that the Gang was investigating. Wow, candy monsters, if ever there was a monster Scooby and Shaggy wouldn’t be scared of…

Monday is probably the most sang about song. I’m sure there are a couple good Friday tunes, and of course there’s Elton John’s “Saturday Night’s All Right for Fighting,” but I think Monday might be the most balladed about. Is that an expression? It should be.

The article is absolutely fascinating, and talks about how music naturally influences other music, and maybe we should lay off people a bit, especially in cases where something completely different is made of the work. Specifically, in this case, the fact that “Smells Like Teen Spirit” uses a riff that’s eerily similar in composition, but not sound, to the one used during Boston’s “More than a Feeling,” doesn’t mean that Kurt Cobain isn’t a genius.

Boston’s “More than a Feeling”:

Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”:

“Do It”:

“Acidjazzed Evening”:

Timbaland defends his sampling in this interview, where he actually says “it’s from a video game”:

Basically, he argues that it’s not stealing because “everybody samples from everybody every day.” He says he doesn’t check to see if things are in the public domain, and he uses everything. Read more about the controversy on Wikipedia.

Also, the song “KernKraft 400″ by Zombie Nation was sampled from a song called “Stardust” included in the Commodore 64 game called Lazy Jones.

First, here’s the song by Zombie Nation (which you might recognize from European dance clubs or Shaun of the Dead):

The full soundtrack to Lazy Jones, which include snippets of all the songs played in the game, including a few illegal samples of its own such as Nena’s “99 Luftballoons”:

Click here if you want to go directly to the part that Zombie Nation used or here if you want to hear the Nena sample.

Apparently it takes four people to steal a song. Whatever. “Toxic” is awesome, and I’m glad they did it. Here’s an awesome cover by the Franco-Israeli Yael Naim (the woman who sings New Soul):

Or maybe you’re more interested in the rap by Mark Ronson featuring Tiggers and ODB:

This last one might be the most awesome thing I’ve seen all day. Maybe all week.

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*Smash hit in 1981 Bollywood terms: it grossed about $2.15 million.

Kanduke, a male captured from T pod in British Columbia, Canada in August 1975, often fought with a younger Icelandic male named Kotar. The aggression became increasingly serious, leading to an incident in which Kotar bit Kanduke’s penis and caused an infection. It is not known if such serious aggression and injury would occur in the open seas.^[70]

That’s from Wikipedia’s article on captive orca. My interest was sparked after Tilikum, a captive killer whale, killed its trainer by dragging her underwater. Not only that, but there were two previous instances of Tilikum attacking his trainers.

That’s really sad and it’s very troubling to me. There has been much criticism of the treatment of how orcas are raised in captivity (now common knowledge thanks to Free Willy, Free Willy 2: The Return, Free Willy 3: The Rescue), and yet  it’s not as if the trainer is this horrible person. I have a dog, and I love her a lot: I imagine trainers often feel the same sort of affection toward the whales they work with.

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson was the theme song for the original. You can listen to it here:

Michael Jackson was actually sued twice over this song. First, Sony sued him because he didn’t credit the Beethoven introduction. Not sure if Sony thinks they own the rights to the music of the long-dead romantic composer, or if they just own the performance Jackson sampled. This one was settled out of court.

The second time, he was sued by Italian composer Albano Carrisi, who claimed that Jackson had stolen the song from his “I Cigni de Balaka” (“The Swans of Balaka”):

However, a judge eventually ruled that they were actually both inspired by a song called Bless You (For Being An Angel). Here are two versions I found online:

The theme-song to Free Willy 2: The Return was also by Michael Jackson, but he didn’t get sued for this one. It was called “Childhood.” Read this excerpt and tell me if you think the song has absolutely anything to do with freeing Willy:

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the childhood I’ve never known…

Before I end, I just wanted to announce that, coming soon to a video store near you (and presumably Netflix, if they’re smart), the fourth installment in the franchise you love:

FREE WILLY 4: ESCAPE FROM PIRATE COVE!

Which made me super-excited because I expected Willy to be fighting pirates! Alas, the trailer dashed my hopes:

It’s not a real pirate cove, it’s an amusement park ride run by Beau Bridges (perhaps giving Jeff a run for Oscar gold?). And it’s the feature film debut of Bindi Irwin, Steve Irwin’s daughter. Probably no Michael Jackson song though.

Honesty, though, I was expecting it to be called Free Willy 4: The Revenge, where Willy tracks down the owners of the park that originally enslaved him.

You may have heard the old palindrome “A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!” (For those of you that don’t know, a palindrome is a word or sentence that’s the same forwards and backwards, like “kayak,” “racecar,” or “Madam, I’m Adam.”)

Ever wondered who wrote it? Well, according to this page I found on Fun with Words, we’ll never know because it sort of constructs itself. That is, anyone interested in making a palindrome about Panama (in English) will recreate this particular one. Here’s why.

PANAMA reversed is AMANAP

Which breaks down into A MAN A P

Now, there are two common words that start with P and rhyme with MAN. They are PAN and PLAN. And since Panama doesn’t have anything to do with pans, the obvious choice is PLAN.

A MAN A PLAN reversed is NAL PANAMA.

What words end in -NAL that might relate to PANAMA? How about the obvious CANAL?

And with that, the palindrome is complete: A MAN, A PLAN, A CANAL: PANAMA!

Also on that page, however, is a much longer Panama-themed palindrome that doesn’t self-construct itself:

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal: Panama!

Another long palindrome was written by comedian Demetri Martin. It’s called Dammit I’m Mad and it’s more than 200 words long. Also, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but that only slightly detracts from its awesomeness.

The reason I’m bringing this up at all is because my local Arkansas bank sends me E-statements with the subject “A Man, A Plan, a Canal: You’re Awesome!”, a joke that only makes sense if you’re familiar with the palindrome.

I think that’s awesome, and to be commended.

You’re at The Laugh Machine, a dirty club miles and miles from civilization, and you’ve just finished your set–you killed! except for that joke about the polar bears going extinct, nobody likes to hear that kind of downer–but for the last fifteen minutes you’ve had to take a piss real bad–you probably shouldn’t have drunk a whole pitcher before going on stage!–and so now you’re desperately searching for the men’s bathroom (see, I told you that you’d be a man for this story).

You round a dark corner to find three doors. One of them is certainly the men’s bathroom, and you look for the familiar stick figure drawings of a dude and a lady, but they aren’t there! Instead, there’s a sign in between them that reads:

“SIGNS MAY BE EITHER TRUE OR FALSE. ALSO, WASH HANDS.”

Door #1 reads: I am the Men’s Bathroom.

Door #2 reads: Door #1 is the Women’s Bathroom. I’m the Men’s Bathroom.

And Door #3 reads: Only one of us is telling the truth.

You think about it for a second, and then choose…

2. Our new toilet and the hole in the bathroom with which it should connect.

3. The Republicans’ rhetoric on spending and their record.